Saturday, December 17, 2005

Facing Our Fears - DailyOM, December 17, 2005

Facing Our Fears

You could find yourself in a conflict with your romantic or business partner over money today. However, the real issue may be fear of rejection and not actual finances. Rather than making your conflict focus on money, you might want to try talking to your partner about how you are feeling. Perhaps you can sit down together and try to figure out what the real underlying issues are. Make sure that both of you are as grounded as possible; remember that you both have each other's best interests at heart, even though it may not always seem like it. Try not to resort to anger or blame, especially if you have decided to communicate openly and honestly about the situation.

When we are afraid, we can prevent ourselves from getting into conflict with others if we can be honest about how we really feel. Conflict is often a mask for fear and is a common defense mechanism. Instead of solving our problems or making us feel better, conflict exacerbates the situation and often leaves us feeling worse. Admitting we are afraid gets us to the root of our dilemma; it also allows us to address our fears so we can resolve them. When others know that we are afraid, they can be there for us, rather than against us. Dig below the superficial issues today to get to the bottom or your emotions, and you will prevent conflict and come closer to a resolution.

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